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200 Update   
12:15pm 04/02/2018

Broke up with Cody
Moved and got my own place
Lost almost 25lbs now by not eating cuz of depression
Had a nervous breakdown and walked out of my job
Now I work part time and am barely getting by
Have done unmentionable things to get rent money

Really feeling lost right now.

1 ♥ send love
07:47pm 20/07/2017

Been busy working and such. I need to get back to this. I need to at least workout on my days off. I want to start dancing again. I do like my job makes me active. I do around 2000 steps a day working there. I need to start doing walks before work to get to 10000 steps.

I am so desperate for money I almost responded to a sugardaddy ad on CL. Lol

Tomorrow I want to:
Walk dogs
Eyebrows done
Tmobile for new phone

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Depressed and cannot sleep   
10:34pm 13/06/2017

So I had to go to Novi for work training for two days. I stayed with my sister. I come back and Cody asked me to get a pizza. I did and when I walked in he said hi and grabbed a piece and walked into the other room. No kiss. No hug. Uggggh. Basically sums up our issues of him being selfish.
We are still "together" technically but havent had sex in 3 weeks. Im just over it. He still has not found a job. We might be getting evicted if he doesnt come up with his part of the rent. And we cannot have someone take over the lease its against the rules. We have to payout 2000 dollars to break the lease. Its up in march 2018. I need to figure out a way to get out of this i just dont know how..

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02:57am 04/06/2017

To do
Clean cat box
Grocery shop
Meal prep salads
Yoga fix
1 hour dancing

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11:45pm 29/05/2017

Im stressed out and its my stupid exs fault. We got into a fight today over me asking him about what his plans are. He has been unemployed 3 weeks now and has not applied anywhere. He has just been at home playing video games. I had to fill out his unemployment application for him.And he hasnt followed up on it or opened the letters they sent him. He was suppose to call them on the 20th and he didnt. So of course Im like what are you gonna do when your savings run out? And he is like work for centria. And im like well when are you applying? They are super disorganized and took 3 weeks to send me my training and he cannot rely soly on them. And I asked him about doing the police academy while working for them. And he kept saying i need a reliable job first and I was like well why arent you applying places. I dont know I just need a break from work. Hello, its been 3 fucking weeks. And he went in on our place is too expensive and we might have to live in a trailer to save money and im like What the FUCK I WILL NEVER LIVE IN A TRAILER THAT IS MY WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE.I would rather live with my dad than live in a trailer. So i asked him why havent u looked into cheaper options for us if this is such an issue. And he hasnt. He is fucking lazy and immature and wont adequitely communicate and im so fucking done. I emailed the leasing office and let them know we want to break the lease or get a subleaser. And Im going to start looking for one bedroom apartments. I am just nervous about my credit score and the fact i have not been at my current job very long. I might have to move back in with my dad... Fml.

2 ♥ send love
11:08pm 16/05/2017

To do
Walk dogs 2 miles
21 day fix workout
Read a damn book

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09:05pm 16/05/2017

So i was suppose to start eating healthy/workout today and it partially worked until my fiancé offered to get Mcdonalds. And I stupidly said yes. I ate fries and a 10 piece chicken nugget then puked it up.

Oh well tomorrow is a new day right?

I think partially my fiancé has been annoying the shit out of me. He got fired from his job and has been home. I have been using the computer to make money on Amazon and I need to train for my new job. Yah I can do it on my phone but its so much faster on a computer. He wants to start doing video game streaming on Switch and has been on the computer all day today since 1 trying to make his layout and such. Its so annoying we have to fight over the computer. He then said I hogged it all day yesterday when I watched a training video and worked for only 2 hours.  It just pisses me off how much he exaggerates and lies about things. He really lies about the stupidest stuff. Seriously half the time he talks out of his ass. The other day he was talking to his mom and just telling her lie after lie about the training for the ABA tech job and it seriously annoyed me. I know he wants to just seem like he knows what he is doing and has a new job prospect. But he really doesnt.. I have told him several things about the job and he cant seem to keep them straight.. And he never wants to do things for me. He wanted to go to the tmobile store and we spent probably an hour getting his new phone setup. He then wanted to go to target for a tripod. We went to target and i wanted to grab a couple things. We were there for maybe a half an hour and he got all bitchy saying we have been at target for 4 hours. He is always impatient when it came to doing what I wanted to do. Its like Im suppose to wait around for him but he wont do the same for me.

Its just so frusterating.

All i want is to be skinny and single.

1 ♥ send love
To do-Monday   
12:41am 15/05/2017

Clean (dust and vacuum) side room
Workout-upper fix
Walk 2 miles
Job training
Finish laundry

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To do   
12:37am 09/05/2017

Laundry and hang up
Job training
Clean under coffee table
Make 40+ turking
Sign up cpr class

1 ♥ send love
Good and Bad news   
09:45pm 01/05/2017

I finally got a job!! But it doesnt start till May 22. So I am just going to try to lose as much weight as i can till then. I am also starting ABC. Ive tried starting this the past few days but got derailed. But I am doing it!! Im going to walk 2 miles everyday and do 1 hour of dancing this week.

Anywho tomorrow plan is:
Walk dogs
Donating plasma
Deposit money from dad
Drug test
Tb test
Fitness marshall dancing
Sign up for CPR class

1 ♥ send love
I need to get it together   
11:00pm 24/04/2017

I need to get my ending under control. And sleeping. I have been sleeping 12 hours a day and eating like crap. Its been so bad.

I followed up with the place that offered me a tentative job offer. They said they just have to get the paperwork around to make my offical offer. I hope I will make at least 14 an hour. That would be great on top of working my 17 an hour job. Like i said I gotta get my shit together. Like I dont have enough money for rent. My fiance is covering me. I have barely enough to cover my personal bills. I need to make about 200 in the next few days which is doable. I am going to have to suck it up and donate plasma because my internet has been fucking up and I have not made a ton on Amazon. Its been really annoying.

I wanted to do so much crap while being unemployed. But ive just been a lazy pos. Oh well. Im pretty sure my job is not starting offically till may so I have a few days to get it together.

To do tomorrow
Call back job
2 hour power walk with sarah
Plasma center
Turk ( hopefully 40?)

1 ♥ send love
Good Friday to do list   
12:56am 14/04/2017

Reorganize cupboards
Clean fridge
Clean oven burners
Vacuum carpets
Clean under coffee table
Hang up clothes
Dust in bedroom and side room
Empty books onto shelves
Self tan
Pluck eyebrows

1 ♥ send love
03:17pm 04/04/2017
  I weighed myself this morning and I weigh 216. Gross. Highest weight ever.  
1 ♥ send love
11:09pm 05/08/2014
  Pizza Omelette🍳 with Ground Turkey, Sautéed Tomatoes, & Fat-Free Mozzarella Cheese. Topped it with Basil & Sriracha!! ♦️This is a #latergram of an omelette I made for Gavin. I make him an omelette like every morning after he does cardio.... I try and change it up, but I always stick to a base of 2 Eggs + 6 EggWhites for him

OATMEAL: ⚭1/3 c. Oats ⚭1/2 cup Almond Milk ⚭4 Egg Whites ⚭6-8 Strawberries {chopped} ⚭1 tsp. Baking Powder ⚭2-4 Stevia packets ⚭Cinnamon ♡FROSTING: ⚭1/4 cup Greek Yogurt ⚭1 TBSP. Protein Powder ⚭Strawberries {smashed} ⚭1 tsp. SF Vanilla Pudding Mix ⚭Stevia 🍓

Molten Chocolate Blueberry Oatmeal {topped with blueberry almonds and crunchy almond butter}: •⅓ cup Oats •1 scoop Molten Chocolate Whey Protein Powder {Cellucor} •1/2-1 cup Chocolate Almond Milk •2 EggWhites •1 TBSP. Ground Flaxseed •½ tsp. each: Cinnamon & Baking Powder •Blueberries •Stevia 1.} Mix the ingredients together in a cereal size bowl. Take a step back and smile🐰. 2.} Microwave for 1-1½ mins. Take it out and carefully stir the cooked edges towards center....I like to drizzle some almond milk or sugarfree maple syrup on top too. 3.} Put the oat stuff back in and microwave for another minute or two. 💙Optional Blueberry Frosting-- Stir the following ingredients together in a small bowl: •⅓ cup Greek Yogurt •Handful of Blueberries {microwaved for 10-20 seconds} •1 TBSP. Vanilla Protein {Cellucor} •1 tsp. SugarFree Vanilla Pudding Mix •little bit of Almond Milk

Spinach Salad: •Spinach😳 •Lean Ground Turkey {pre-cooked: Sautéed on the stove med. heat until meat's no longer pink, then seasoned with sea salt, pepper, garlic powder, oregano, thyme, red pepper flakes.} •Broccoli {microwaved for 2 mins} •Purple Cabbage •Honey Dijon Mustard •Sriracha. ❖ I had this^^ yesterday after working my back & calves at the gym. All of the ingredients in my salads are different, depending on what fresh veggies & meat I have prepped in my fridge. ❖ Lately after I come home from lifting, if I have time, Ill make a big salad like this to curb my hunger. Right after I eat it, I usually make a huge Greek yogurt creation w/ fruit {blueberries}, chocolate, protein powder, almond milk & butternut squash, then freeze it. Crazy combo but I love it and it works for me.;) No more than 30 mins to 1 hour later I'll eat that.... Then around 8-9 I'll snack on something {lots of almond butter} and watch tv, then have another mini meal right before bed around 11-12....{usually another Greek froyo creation I froze again--a little less froyo, lots of almond butter at the bottom, & no fruit}.

Preheat oven to 420 degrees. 🍠Wash, dry, & slice the sweet potato into rounds and lay them out on a greased baking sheet. 🍠Sprinkle Cinnamon, Cayenne Pepper & about 1/2 tsp. Sea Salt over them. 🍠Bake the sweet potatoes into the oven for 15 minutes, flip them and then roast for an additional 10 minutes or so

Red velvet pancakes
INGREDIENTS: •1/3 cup Oats •1/3 cup Chocolate Almond Milk •1/2 scoop Cellucor Red Velvet Cake Batter Protein Powder •2 TBSP. Greek Yogurt •1 TBSP. each: Cocoa Powder & Coconut Flour •1 tsp. Baking Powder •1 Egg + 1 EggWhite •2 Stevia packets •4-6 drops Red Food Coloring ^^Blend all of the above ingredients in a food processor or blender until smooth. On a griddle or pan sprayed with non-stick spray on low//medium heat, place about 1/4 a cup of batter on the pan per pancake. Allow each to cook, flipping halfway through. Top with frosting and pancake syrup {I used Walden farms}!! CREAM CHEESE FROSTING: •1/4 cup Greek Yogurt •1 TBSP. FatFree Cream Cheese •2 TBSP. Vanilla Almond Milk •1 tsp. SugarFree Cheesecake Pudding Mix •Stevia

🍃Spinach Salad with: •🐔Grilled Chicken Breast •🍏Green Apple w/ Cinnamon •🐰Organic Baby Carrots •🍇Raspberry Vinaigrette {Marie's}. So Gavin aka @gavintorres9 grilled some chicken on the stove earlier and seasoned it with some Basil, Chipotle Powder, and Creole Seasoning

Organic Spinach & Kale •Sautéed Teriyaki Chicken {courtesy of @gavintorres9 hehe thanks :)} •Baby Portabella Mushrooms •Roasted Red Peppers •Grilled White Onions •Sun-Dried Tomato Dressing 💚I seasoned it with Basil, Italian Seasoning & Lemon Pepper.

STEAK SALAD🍴 1-🐄 Steak {Medium Rare} 2-👶🍃 Organic Baby Spinach 3-🍓 Organic Strawberries 4-🌀Sautéed Onions My super sweet Gavin made me steak tonight {after a Krispy Kreme run earlier haha}. He marinated our steaks in "Lawry's Cajun Teriyaki Marinade"

CHIPOTLE GARLIC PEPPER TILAPIA🐠 1⃣Get a package of fresh Tilapia {you can use fresh Salmon too-- I get my fish from HEB} 2⃣Season each side with Chipotle Powder, Garlic & Lemon Pepper, and Cayenne Pepper. Hot food is the best food. 3⃣Get a sautée pan hot first {I use medium heat}, grease or spray it, place the tilapia filets on the pan but P.S. don't move them if you want them crispy on each side 4⃣Cook for 3-4 minutes per side, depending on how big each fish is or hot you have the pan set. You may need to cook them longer. I like mine BLACK.

Spinach Salad {took me 5 mins to throw together} to I get my vitamins in for the day: 🔹Spinach 🔹Broccoli Slaw Mix 🔹Red Onion 🔹Raspberry Dressing 🔹Blueburries

Honey Mustard Chicken Breast over sautéed Sweet Potato Noodles, Mushrooms, Onions, & Asparagus💛 1⃣ So earlier, I baked this chicken {plus way more} in the oven for 25 minutes @ 380 degrees. I marinated them first in a honey mustard sauce I put together......: Mustard + Honey + WF Pancake Syrup + Greek Yogurt + Garlic Powder + Thyme + Salt. 2⃣ While it was cooking, I took a long sweet potato and sliced it into long skinny strands with my crazy butcher knife. It took me quite a while. When am I ever gonna get me a veggie spiralizer..😒 never. I also blasted some crazy classical music during this time. 3⃣ I sautéed them in coconut oil over med/high heat in a covered skillet. They take like 10-15 mins to sautée, so while I waited I chopped my onions and mushrooms.. Then added them to the sweet potato fries. Or noodles. Whatever. Oh and I already had leftover asparagus in my fridge that I just threw in the mix. Ended up pouring pancake syrup over the whole plate, then I added cinnamon and cayenne pepper.

~~High Fiber Whole Wheat Pita stuffed with: ~~Chicken Breast {prepped}, ~~Butternut Squash {also prepped}, ~~Cinnamon, + ~~Vanilla Blueberry Granola {KIND®}. 🙋 I also have a Clementine, more Chicken, plus some Sugar-Snap Peas.

anana Split Parfait🍧 1⃣st Layer: 1 chopped Banana.... 2⃣nd Layer: Chocolate Oats {1/3 c. Oats + 1 TBSP. Cocoa + Chocolate Almond Milk + Stevia}.... 3⃣rd Layer: 1/2 c. Greek Yogurt + Strawberries + 2 tsp. SF Vanilla Pudding Mix....

GREDIENTS: 90% Lean Ground Hamburger, Cabbage, Yellow Squash, Green Beans, Onion, Celery, Garlic, Rotel Tomatoes, Avocado, Greek Yogurt. 💛BASE & SEASONINGS: Cream of Chicken, Cream of Mushroom, Chicken Stock, Lemon Pepper, Turmeric, Cumin, Poultry Seasoning.

This was 2.5 pounds of fresh chicken breast I bought at HEB for only $10 {Frozen will be even cheaper}.... Basically the only work done here is trimming off the fat, which you don't really even have to do, I just prefer to. ✎ 2 CHICKEN MARINADES: 1⃣WaldenFarms Pancake Syrup + Sriracha + Mustard + McCormick's Asian Seasoning. 2⃣Wishbone Light Balsamic & Basil Dressing + Parmesan + SeaSalt + Herbes De Provence*. ✎ I baked the chicken at 380 degrees for 20-25 minutes..... ✎ I then cut 2 sweet potatoes into bite-sized chunks, drizzled them with: 1 TBSP. Coconut Oil + WaldenFarms Pancake Syrup + Cinnamon and baked them at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes. ✎ P.S.~ I ALSO steamed a whole bag of pre-cut & pre-washed Broccoli {not pictured} on the stove for just 5 minutes. Filled up 2 Tupperware containers

So these were 2-3 frozen tilapia filets I cut up {they were huge}.... As well as a bag of frozen Mahi Mahi cutlets {probably meant for fish tacos}. These actually only lasted a couple of days in the fridge, so next time I think I will prep twice as much. All I used to marinate the fish in were 2 different mixtures :: 1⃣Orange Sesame Ginger Sauce + Sriracha + Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb + 2 Stevia packets.... 2⃣Spicy Mango Mustard + Yellow Mustard + Mrs. Dash Onion & Herb + 2 Stevia Packets. ♛ I baked them in the oven at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes

SPICY STUFFED MAPLE CHICKEN SWEET POTATO💥 Or in another words.... My #magicbowl for the lovely @_michelleyeager.... She 💩's 🌈's on the daily, y'all. •👉I was soooo hungry today after the gym. This took about 5 minutes to make, and is definitely going down as a staple meal in the future.... 💥Microwaved a medium Sweet Potato in a wet paper towel {with a few fork-holes punched in it} on the "baked potato" setting. 💥While it was microwaving, I: 💥Quickly sliced some red onion.... 💥Sautéed it in a greased skillet on medium heat with pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from Kroger. 💥Turned off heat and quickly seasoned it with Thyme and Poultry Seasoning. 💥Cut the Sweet Potato down the middle, then stuffed it with the chicken-onion mix. 💥Decorated the bowl with steamed broccoli and a little Cajun rice. 💥BEST part: I drizzled it with walden farms pancake syrup and red pepper flakes for the WIN baby.
1 ♥ send love
09:37pm 12/05/2014

To do tomorrow
Wash dishes
Fold laundry
Make appointments for counseling
Dust bedroom
Clean bathroom
Inservice at 2
Gym at 3:30
Drop laptop off to be fixed

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Day 1 9/10 points   
11:50pm 09/05/2014
Water-2/2 (if I finish this water bottle in front of me before bed)
Exercise 1/2 I worked and sweated my butt off but not true exercise
Self-Esteem Challenge-2/2 Wake and Bake + video games=good times

Plan for tomorrow:
Wake up 8:00-shower and self tan
Bigbys Coffee then library
work 2:45 to 11:15
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Meal Plan for next 28 days   
12:43am 09/05/2014
  I want to restart the 28 day plan. It is a good plan to work on overall self improvement and I am adding my own twist to it.

My meals basically look like this:
B:1 cup multigrain cheerios with 1/2 cup almond milk
L:Cesear salad or kale salad
S: 1 cup Pineapple or grapes
Dinner: Fish/veggie burger with veggies OR quest bar OR cheerios with almond milk (i need options because dinner is weird sometimes because of work)
If I stay according to this plan I will get 2 points. If I eat one thing that's not on the plan, then 1 point. If i totally binge and eat something bad it will be 0.

I'm also going to include a change jar where I put spare changed throughout the week. If I have a perfect week the change will go toward a saving fund thats for getting a rebecca minkcoff purse. If not, I have to put the money towards my credit cards. (haha)
In addition, since I will be eating out less, spending less on food (and I've quit smoking!!)
I'm going to treat myself to 1 makeup item a week if I post every day that week.

If you have 64+ ounces, 2 points. 32-64 is 1 point, and less than 32 is 0. Any de-caffeinnated beverage with 0 calories counts as water, but you can only use stuff other than actual water (diet Sprite, Crystal Light, decaf tea) for 24 ounces of your daily total. Just think of how great your skin is going to look after ALL that water.. no more pimples..no more zits..

I want to start doing yoga for at least 20 minutes everyday. I also want to do stretches as well. I want to be one of those super strong, super toned girls that can twist up in a pretzel. In addition on non work days I want to do some kind of workout routine like 30 day shred or a Tone it up workout.
If you work out for 30 minutes or more, 2 points. 20-29 minutes, 1 point. Less than 20 minutes, 0 points. It's unrealistic to expect us to work out every day, so you get a "Get out of exercise free" card to use once a week.

This one's an all-or-nothing. You have to post every day about how you did on the challenge. If you do it, you get 2 points, if not, you don't get any.

Self Esteem Challenge:
This is where it gets fun. Every day of the week, there's a special daily challenge that you get to select. If you do it, you get 2 points, if you don't do one, you get 0. Challenge points are the only points that you can make up later, though.

--Monday Challenge: Celebrate Me! Give yourself a facial, take a bubble bath, get a few minutes to yourself, etc. Do something to make yourself feel good.

--Tuesday Challenge: Procrastinator's Anonymous: Everyone has something they're putting off--this is your chance to finally DO it.

--Wednesday Challenge: Random Act of Kindness Day. Commit a random act of kindness--give a compliment, be polite to a telemarketer, donate to charity--anything as long as it's nice!

--Thursday Challenge: Try It, You'll Like it! Do a new exercise, make a new recipe that looks good--expand your horizons!

--Friday Challenge: Fun Day! Blow bubbles, go to a movie, dance, be silly, have fun!

--Saturday Challenge: Cleaning out the Cobwebs: Clean something in your house that needs it.

--Sunday Challenge: This is a make-up day for all your other challenge days. If you missed a challenge, do it on Sunday. If not, just plan for the next week and take it easy.

If you eat a little extra food, you can exercise extra to make up for the food points. 30 minutes for every 150 calories. You have to decide if it's worth it.

So my plan for tomorrow:
Wake up early 8:00-Wake and Bake and play kingdom of amular (self esteem challenge lol)
10:00 inservice at work
shower and self-tan
make counseling appointment
2:45-11:15 work
2 ♥ send love
I'm done   
08:44pm 27/04/2014

I'm just sick and tired of living with PIGS that wont clean up after themseleves. I am just done. I'm looking for my own place. I'm fucking done. I just want to be responsible for my shit only and not responsible for whiny loser stoners. All that they have done today is sit on their asses and smoke weed and play video games and i'm fucking done i'm over it. I'm going to a leasing company that has really cheap places I can apply for. I'm so fucking over it.
To do
Finish laundry
Make advising appointments
Tone it up yoga
Send textbooks back
Clean out car
Watch breaking bad

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Summer Break!!   
12:12pm 25/04/2014
  I think I figured out why I dont post a lot. I get paranoid that my bf/bf's sister/roommates are going to find this. I have to use my boyfriend's computer because mine is broken. So after tonight I have a week off work too! yay! So I'm gonna get a ton of stuff done.

To Do
clean out junk drawers and organize
clean out basement
organize school stuff
Get computer repaired-take to computer guild
start doing yoga
Look for grown up jobs
make audit appointments
look into post baccalaurette programs
-find out about MCAT
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12:21am 14/04/2014

To do tomorrow
Grocery shop
Print pharmacology slides
Print holistic health slides
Read and highlight chapters
Make vocab word aheets
Organize into binder
Start PowerPoint presentation
Read cancer slides

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